7/19/09

Care less, eyes, lips and hands to miss.

A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning
by John Donne

As virtuous men pass mildly away,
And whisper to their souls to go,
Whilst some of their sad friends do say,
"Now his breath goes," and some say, "No."

So let us melt, and make no noise,
No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move ;
'Twere profanation of our joys
To tell the laity our love.

Moving of th' earth brings harms and fears ;
Men reckon what it did, and meant ;
But trepidation of the spheres,
Though greater far, is innocent.

Dull sublunary lovers' love
—Whose soul is sense—cannot admit
Of absence, 'cause it doth remove
The thing which elemented it.

But we by a love so much refined,
That ourselves know not what it is,
Inter-assured of the mind,
Care less, eyes, lips and hands to miss.

Our two souls therefore, which are one,
Though I must go, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion,
Like gold to aery thinness beat.

If they be two, they are two so
As stiff twin compasses are two ;
Thy soul, the fix'd foot, makes no show
To move, but doth, if th' other do.

And though it in the centre sit,
Yet, when the other far doth roam,
It leans, and hearkens after it,
And grows erect, as that comes home.

Such wilt thou be to me, who must,
Like th' other foot, obliquely run ;
Thy firmness makes my circle just,
And makes me end where I begun.

6/24/09

Eagleton on Nietzsche

This is why we would fail as God:
There is a sense in which replacing a transcendent God with an omnipotent humanity alters surprisingly little, as Nietzsche scornfully pointed out. There is still a stable metaphysical center to the world; it is just that it is now us, rather than a deity. And since we are sovereign, bound by no constraints which we do not legislate for ourselves, we can exercise our newfound divinity by indulging among other things in that form of ecstatically creative jouissance known as destruction. In Nietzsche's view, the death of God must also spell the death of Man - that is to say, the end of a certain lordly, overweening humanism - if absolute power is not simply to be transplanted from the one to the other. Otherwise humanism will always be secretly theological. It will be a continuation of God by other means. God will simply live a shadowy afterlife in the form of respectable suburban morality, as indeed he does today. The infinity of Man would simply end up doing service for the eternity of God. In Faustian spirit, Man would fall in love with his own apparently boundless powers, forgetful that God in the doctrine of the Incarnation is shown to be in love with the fleshly, frail, and finite. Besotted by his own infinity, Man would find himself in perpetual danger of developing too fast, overreaching himself and bringing himself to nothing, as in the myth of the Fall.

Reason, Faith, and Revolution, pp. 15-16

6/23/09

the King Beetle on a Coconut Estate

The boys of mewithoutYou have outdone their selves (the case with most of their songs, really) with "the King Beetle on a Coconut Estate." While the lyrics are taken almost directly from a tale told by the Sufi poet Bawa Muhaiyaddeen, Aaron still makes them his own, and the accompanying melodies amp the allegory's... ahem, "epic-ness" nearly tenfold. The alternating background instruments, though subtle, suit each character of the story they follow so perfectly. If you don't have goosebumps by the end of the song, you will. The finale is flawless.

Take some time to listen to the song, read the lyrics and reflect upon it. Please, it's so worth it. Then, if you so choose, my thoughts, interpretation and research will be at the bottom of this post.

Here is the song:

http://www.last.fm/music/mewithoutYou/_/The+King+Beetle+on+a+Coconut+Estate

And here are the lyrics:
As the Moon rose and the hour grew late, the day help on a Coconut estate raked up the dry leaves that fell dead from the Trees, which they burned in a pile by the lake. The Beetle King summoned his men, and from the top of the Rhododendron stem: Calling all volunteers who can carry back here, the Great Mystery’s been lit once again. One Beetle emerged from the crowd in a fashionable abdomen shroud, said: I’m a Professor, you see, that’s no mystery to me... I’ll be back soon, successful and proud. But when the Beetle Professor returned he crawled on all six, as his wings had been burned, and described to the finest detail all he’d learned. There was neither a light nor a heat in his words. The deeply dissatisfied King climbed the same stem to announce the same thing, but in his second appeal sought to sweeten the deal with a silver Padparadscha ring. The Lieutenant stepped out from the line as he lassoed his thorax with twine, thinking: I’m stronger and braver and I’ll earn the King’s favor. One day all he has will be mine! But for all the Lieutenant’s conceit he, too, returned singed and admitting defeat: I had no choice, please believe, but retreat... it was bright as the sun, but with ten times the heat! And it cracked like the thunder and bloodshot my eyes, though smothered with sticks it advanced undeterred. Carelessly cast an ash cloud to the sky, my Lord, like a flock of dark, vanishing birds.

The Beetle King slammed down his fist: Your flowery description’s no better than his! We sent for the Great Light and you bring us this? We didn’t ask what it seems like, we asked what it IS! His Majesty’s hour at last has drawn nigh! The elegant Queen took her leave from his side, without understanding but without asking why, gathered their Kids to come bid their goodbyes. And the father explained: You’ve been somewhat deceived... We’ve all called me your dad, but your True Dad’s not me. I lay next to your mom and your forms were conceived, your Father is the Life within all that you see. He fills up the ponds as He empties the clouds, holds without hands and He speaks without sounds, provides us with the Cow’s waste and coconuts to eat, giving one that nice salt-taste and the other a sweet. Sends the black carriage the day Death shows its face, thinning our numbers with Kindness and Grace. And just as a Flower and its Fragrance are one so must each of you and your Father become. Now distribute my scepter, my crown and my throne and all we’ve known as ‘wealth’ to the poor and alone... Without further hesitation, without looking back home, the King flew headlong into the blazing unknown! And as the Smoke King curled higher and higher, the troops, flying loops ’round the telephone wires, they said: Our Beloved’s not dead, but His Highness instead has been utterly changed into Fire!!!

Why not be utterly changed into Fire?
As mentioned before, the lyrics are Aaron's rehash of an excerpt from "The Divine Luminous Wisdom That Dispels the Darkness" by Bawa Muhaiyaddeen, a Sufi poet. The story itself is about seeking truth and what that entails. When the King Beetle's subjects fail to retrieve or reveal to him what the "light" is, he is forced to pursue it himself. He realizes that it's an all-or-nothing decision and even gives up his possessions to the needy before flying head on into the unknown.

An examination of the last line, "Why not be utterly changed into fire?" helps to dispel the song's ambiguity. This line is a quote from "The Sayings of the Desert Fathers."
Abbot Lot came to Abbot Joseph and said: ‘Father, to the limit of my ability, I keep my little rule, my little fast, my prayer, meditation and contemplative silence; and to the limit of my ability, I work to cleanse my heart of thoughts, what more should I do?’ The elder rose up in reply, and stretched out his hands to heaven, and his fingers became like ten lamps of fire. He said: ‘Why not be utterly changed into fire?’
The Desert Fathers and Mothers were among the very first Christian monastics to abandon their homes and possessions to seek God in the solitude of deserts and wastelands. As you can see above, Abbot Lot, in the pursuit of holiness, inquires Abbot Joseph about what more he can do. Abbot Joseph, rather mystically, replies, "Why not be utterly changed into fire?" This sentence represents the inevitable, utter loss of oneself in search of the Great Mystery that is God.

Just as the King Beetle was forced to give up his family, his kingdom, his riches, his entire being for the sake of knowing the truth, we face the same fate in knowing Christ. Jesus tells us to disperse our wealth and become our neighbors' servants. When slapped on the cheek, reveal the other. When credit is due, deny it. We are to love one another, and the definition of love alone is enough to wear oneself out (please refer here).

This song is no aesthetic gem. This is serious, heavy stuff. I could make parallels all day, but this will be my final note. If we want to know the truth, there is a long, abusive road ahead of us. Constant rejection of our bodies' desires, endless, toilsome work at the feet of others and a whole slew of counter-intuitive, irrational Christian ethics are at hand for any Christ follower. Jesus is a stubborn refusal of the world and an utter denial of oneself. It's impossible to answer his call and not lose sight of anything you want to do, see or become in this world, and that is what it means to "be utterly changed into fire" - to virtually vanish altogether. Yet, this is the cost of truth.

But, if it's really worth it, then why not be utterly changed into fire?

5/26/09

Ya subhannallah!

I once saw an interview on YouTube with Aaron Weiss (I'd find and share it with you if my computer had working sound..) in which he diverted any praise or glory cast upon him to God. The media present seemed at least slightly confused, so Aaron explained that any "good" he did (I quoted good because Aaron would surely question the word) came from God and was not his own. He intended it to be very clear that he was a simple instrument of God and deserved no credit for any of his laudable work.
"And Jesus said to him, 'Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone.'"

Mark 10:18 E.S.V.
I must admit that I am many times guilty of this borderline idolatry (quite often, ironically enough, with Aaron himself!). If even Jesus denies being capable of good, it's dreadfully obvious that God is at work within the world, and we ought to give credit where credit is due.

5/16/09

it's all crazy! it's all false! it's all a dream! it's alright

As I sit and cringe in unbearable anticipation of mewithoutYou's fourth full-length album (see title) set to release on May 19th (Tuesday!), I figure it'd be at least entertaining, if not serving some unseen purpose worth even a penny more, to compose a list of my absolute favorite mwY quotes.

But first, a brief word.

Aaron Weiss, the lead singer and songsmith for mwY, is, in my opinion, the single most profound, insightful and aesthetic lyricist/poet of the last decade or so. His use of antique, humble imagery has often served as a gateway to some of the most personal epiphanies and abstruse revelations I've ever experienced. Not only has his inspired mind led to many spells of seclusion from the rest of the world just to dwell on perhaps a single line or verse, but it has all been relevent! I can relate so well with the angsty, existential struggles in "[A-->B] Life (2002)," the soteriological realizations and diminishing self-loathings in "Catch for Us the Foxes (2004)," and the paradigmatic shift from a sorrowful belief in Jesus Christ to a joyful one in "Brother, Sister (2006)." Sometimes I fear this man's words resonate within me more impactfully than Christ's do. Aaron Weiss is an honest Christ-seeker in a day quite inconducive to taking the gospel seriously. So, without further ado, I present my list of significant A. Weiss quotes with hopes that we will learn from him what he has learned from God.

"You were a song that I couldn't sing,
You were a story I couldn't tell.
I've only ever loved myself,
But I've loved myself so well.
And how defeated I return!
(you're nice and blue, you're nice and blue)
I missed what I was supposed to learn,
As all I learned about was missing you."

Nice and Blue - [A-->B] Life


"When she stands before your throne,
Dressed in beauty not her own,
All soft and small, you'll hear her call,
'You brought me here, now take me home.'"

Silencer - [A-->B] Life


"We'll be like torches... with whatever respect our tattered dignity demands,
Torches together, hand in hand."

Torches Together - Catch for Us the Foxes


"My forehead no longer sweet with holy kisses worthy of your fiery lips,
I was floating in a peaceful sea 'rescued' by a sinking ship.
If I could become the servant of all... no lower place to fall."

January 1979 - Catch for Us the Foxes


"You, my hidden pearl of pure and perfect love,
And I'm the living example of 100% the opposite of this."

Tie Me Up! Untie Me! - Catch for Us the Foxes


"God is love, and love is real,
But the dead are dancing with the dead.
And whatever's charming disappears,
While all things lovely only hurt my head."

The Soviet - Catch for Us the Foxes


"I said 'water' expecting the word would satisfy my thirst,
Talking all about the second and third,
When I haven't understood the first."

My Exit, Unfair - Catch for Us the Foxes


"Rehearsed indifference tossed aside,
Our narrow arms spread wide,
What unseen pen etched eternal things on the hearts of human kind,
But never let them in our minds?"

My Exit, Unfair - Catch for Us the Foxes


"Oh, but I'm so small, I can barely be seen.
How can this great love be inside of me?
Look at your eyes, they're small in size,
But they see enormous things."

Four Word Letter (Pt. Two) - Catch for Us the Foxes


"If there was no way into God,
I would never have laid in this grave of a body for so long."

Carousels - Catch for Us the Foxes


"Oh Christ, when you're ready to come back,
Then I think I'm ready for you to come back,
But if you want to stay wherever exactly it is you are,
That's okay, too.
It's really none of my business."

Carousels - Catch for Us the Foxes


"I do not exist, we faithfully insist,
While watching sink the heavy ship of everything we knew.
If ever you come near, I'll hold up high a mirror,
Lord, I could never show you anything as beautiful as you."

Messes of Men - Brother, Sister


"A fish swims in the sea,
While the sea is in a certain sense contained within the fish.
Oh, what am I to think of what the writing of a thousand lifetimes
Could not explain if all the forest trees were pens
And all the oceans ink?"

The Dryness and the Rain - Brother, Sister


"Wolf am I... no, 'shadow' I think is better,
'Cause I'm not something, more like the absence of something,
So shadow am I!"

Wolf Am I! (And Shadow) - Brother, Sister


"In the clarity of such grace,
You'll forget all about me."

Nice and Blue (Pt. Two) - Brother, Sister


"What good is each good thing we think we do?"

The Sun and the Moon - Brother, Sister


"If I was Samson I'd have found that harlot's blade
And cut my own hair short!
Then in a market dimly lit,
I come casually to pay,
You see my coins are counterfeit,
But you accept them anyway."

In a Market Dimly Lit - Brother, Sister


Now, for my absolute, all-time favorite, I am going to throw up the entire song, because it really is that good. Oh, and I really encourage you to go listen to mewithoutYou if you've never given them a chance (start with "Catch for Us the Foxes"). Nearly each and every song is a masterpiece by itself. I have been heavily, heavily influenced by the wonders of this band (i.e., God!).


"And not one motion or gesture could I forget,
The prettiest bag lady I ever met...
Pushing her cart in the rain, then gathering plastic and glass,
She watched the day pass,
Not hour by hour... but pain by pain.
I was a basket filled with holes, and she was the sand I tried to hold
That ran out behind me as I swung with some invisible hand.

I stopped believing, you start to move,
(and she was like wine turned to water then turned back to wine)
I stopped my leaving, and the better man bloomed.
(and you can pour us out and we won't mind)

I was dead then alive,
She was like wine turned to water then turned back to wine.
You can pour us out, we won't mind,
A scratch around the mouth of the glass, "My life is no longer mine."

And if you're still looking for a blanket, sweetie,
I'm sorry, I'm no sort of fabric.
But if you need a tailor... then take your torn shirt, stumble up my stairs
And mumble your pitiful prayers, and in your tangled, knotted sleep,
Our midnight needles go to work until all comfort and fear flows in one river
Down in the shop by the mirror where you see yourself whole... and it makes you shiver.

I stopped believing, you start to move,
(and she was like wine turned to water then turned back to wine)
I stopped my leaving, and the better man bloomed.
(and you can pour us out and we won't mind)

I was dead then alive,
She was like wine turned to water then turned back to wine.
You can pour us out, we won't mind,
A scratch around the mouth of the glass, "Our lives our not our own."

Even the wind lay still,
Our essence was fire and cold... and movement, movement!
Oh, if they ask you for the sign of the father in you,
Tell them it's movement, movement, movement and... repose."

Paper-Hanger - Catch for Us the Foxes
(The best song of all time.)

4/27/09

A Restrictive World

There are some people I've met or know of whom I'd love to get to know. I think we have a lot in common and could become great friends. But, whether it's social status, age, location or whatever, there are certain factors that prevent it from happening. Sometimes life is stupid, and these instances are great examples. What's worse is when you can tell that the other person is interested in you, too. It's so frustrating!

My question is, then, is there nothing we can do? Can I visit one of my professors at his office just to talk, or is that too socially inappropriate? Does it even matter if we'd both enjoy each other's company? Can I say hi to someone on the other side of the country without seeming like a total creep? I feel like there are so many potential relationships and friendships out there that are suppressed by social stigmas and calumnies. It's very perturbing, and if anyone reading this feels that way about me, that they want to say hello but can't because of some bogus reason, please do. I will not think you're a creep or stalker or weirdo or anything other than a normal human being. In fact, the odds are that I've probably wanted to talk to you, too.

4/26/09

Coming to Terms

I've accepted my vain attempts at being intellectual as futile and inadequate. I am wholly dissatisfied with anything I write about; I am not smart enough to compete. Instead, I am going to speak from the heart and try not to care.