I still get very sad when I think about Pig. I still feel guilty for leaving. I still miss him so fucking much. He knew how to be happy. I still don't. He had so much more to give. Why did he have to go? The doctors didn't even know what was wrong with him. What makes me think I could have saved him? They say he was depressed, that he was giving in. I can't bear that thought. If Pig couldn't fight it, I can't either. I still hate myself.