4/20/09

The Elitism of Absolutism

Some growing issues I must address:

1) Just recently, whenever I find myself engaged in an intellectual conversation, whether it fall under either of the voluminous categories of philosophy or theology, and unless I know the person is either on or above my level, I can't help but assume a pretentious, regnant position. I take on this elitist attitude and talk down to whoever's with me. This happens often in Bible studies when I interpret the given scripture radically different than anyone else. I see myself as really getting to the core of the passage, while everyone else just gets the gist of it or, sometimes, even misinterprets it. Sometimes I don't realize it's happening until it's too late, other times, when I catch myself, it prevents me from saying a word. I don't want to argue if it's just going to feed my ego or possibly patronize someone, but I do want to share my thoughts with people and receive feedback. It's creating a sort of Catch-22 that needs to stop.

2) Closely related to the first issue, I am struggling with the futility of non-Christian thought, specifically concerning morality and ethics. Is there any worth to it? How am I going to treat my array of non-Christian friends this summer? I fear the same elitist, absolutist condition will haunt me in the inevitable ideological culture clashes between myself and my old friends. I don't want to appear a close-minded, bombastic highbrow to them. I want to embrace my old community with love, concern and appreciation. I am hoping, God willing, to be a light unto them, but I fear this will not happen if I can't get rid of my intellectual pretensions.

I need a remedy for this. I don't know how to prevent myself from feeling like such an intellectual vigilante, but, like I said, it needs to stop.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm afraid I can relate to you to some degree (in regard to part I) , be it with my parents and sibling or friends. Did you ever find a remedy to this elitism? I'm curious as to your experience since this post.

byron said...

Hey Anonymous, no idea how you found this post, but I'm glad you replied. A LOT has changed since I wrote that. I lost my faith toward the end of my senior year in college (2010). It was a slow and painful process; I spent many nights really torturing myself trying to figure out if God was real. To answer your question, I never found a specific solution, because the problem kind of dissolved. As I began to uncover the problems and inconsistencies that lie not just within the Bible, but within the very idea that a deity exists, I became much less confident in myself. I stopped acting like I had everything figured out, because I realized I didn't. My daily conversations changed from me defending my religious and philosophical beliefs to me inquiring why others thought the way they did. It was a natural transformation from borderline arrogance to humble curiosity.

Anyway, if you find yourself suffering a similar circumstance, here is my advice. First, be proud of yourself for having the presence of mind to recognize and admit your situation. That tells me you are an honest thinker. If I can recognize it from a couple of sentences you wrote on the internet, I'm sure you friends and family know it for a fact. Don't worry too much about how you come across to them. It is my experience that people see you much differently than how you think they do. My second piece of advice is to ask more questions. Ask people what they think about things, why they hold certain beliefs, etc (don't ever be afraid to ask deep questions at odd or unexpected times, either). You will naturally be speaking less, and I think you'll find listening to people nourishing to your thoughts and behavior; when you do speak, you will be well received.

Sorry for so much text, and I hope I made sense!