I am a two-faced bearer of death.

In An Instant

In an instant the world fell silent. No murmur of birds or meaningless chitchat; only the sound of life squeezing itself out of me.

The Big Orange Love

Let's sing our favorite orange song,
The one that plays in dreams
Of sand and tides and sunfast
Sheets before the day goes brown.

You'll meet me if I want you to.
Low buzzing and resonant chimes,
Infatuated with such a
Transient hum.

Cursory darkness, then orange
Again. You carry me with big hands.
Boardwalk, warm togetherness and
The blue below, abiding in rage.

Its cool breath is pulling me in,
Out of your love, towards
The end of our song, but
You keep on smiling.

You smile into the dark,
When I fall and splash
Blue and black and sink
Into the crying deep.

But you're still there, smiling
And waiting and humming in
Orange and yellow. You know
I always come back.

I saw you turn red from me.

As one puts a handkerchief before pent-in breath-
no: as one presses it against a wound
out of which the whole of life, in a single gush,
wants to stream, I held you to me: I saw
you turn red from me. How could anyone express
what took place between us? We made up for everything
there was never time for. I matured strangely
in every impulse of unperformed youth,
and you, love, somehow had
wildest childhood over my heart.

Rilke, Uncollected Poems, p. 13

Stop smiling. Your face will get stuck, and you'll be sorry when your world turns to shit.

Resent

At once you seem perfect and flawless and contrary to every worldly thing, but you make wind feel like fire, surrounding and burning but never consuming. I'm wretched and fallen and lay melting at your feet, suffocating and reaching for your hand. Eventually I dissolve into the dirt beneath me and decay with the others fortunate enough to have lived this long. I wonder when you'll die, how and why. I think we'll share a fate of endless gloom and self-loathing. Hope is a trick of the devil.

Mercy is the Highest Law

I recently had my first exam for my New Testament Theology class. It consisted of an in class essay on one of three topics. I chose a prompt on the Sermon on the Mount, and it went so well I thought I'd share it. Remember, it was in class, so I didn't get a chance to edit or revise anything!

Without further ado:

    In Matthew 5:17-20, Jesus makes three claims that drive the rest of the Sermon on the Mount. The first claim is that he came to fulfill the Law, not abolish it. The second claim is that he will properly interpret the Law, establishing a hierarchy of the least and greatest commandments. The final claim is that he will make one able to surpass the righteousness (justice) of the Pharisees and enter the kingdom of heaven.

    Before showing how these claims are realized in the sermon, it is necessary to establish the hermeneutical key. This key is found in Matthew 7:7-12 and is commonly known as the Golden Rule. It states that you should treat others as you would have them treat you. This means that mercy, forgiveness and reconciliation should be aspects of our daily lives. Jesus takes this simple rule further by saying, “this is the Law and the Prophets.” (Mt. 7:12) This is crucial. Jesus is explaining the whole point of the Law. Loving your neighbor as yourself is the greatest commandment, and every other law culminates to this one.

    To understand this better, consider the first pericope in Matthew 5:21-48. Each pericope is a group of verses arranged in a triad of three points. The first point states a traditional reading of the Law, the second explains how the targeted evil can only be contained by the Law and not resolved, and the third point is Jesus’ transforming initiative for overcoming the specific evil. So, in the case of the first pericope, found in Matthew 5:21-26, the traditional reading of the Law is, “’You shall not commit murder’ and ‘Whoever commits murder shall be liable to the court.’” (Mt. 5:21) The targeted evil is murder, but it cannot be resolved because anger and hatred amongst people lead to murder and are worthy of the same punishment on their own. The third point magnificently illuminates how Jesus is re-interpreting the Law. He says that instead of bringing your brother to court, make amends with him and be reconciled to him. Show him mercy and forgiveness. The Golden Rule overrides the lesser law of taking your brother to court, thus the hierarchy of the Law is established, keeping reconciliation as the main point and goal of the Law. Every pericope is structured the same way and exemplifies Jesus’ proper interpretation of the Law.

    Jesus is not preaching these things as some abstract, unobtainable virtue or perfectness. Instead, he is building and shaping a physical community that lives by his “New Law.” This community is not like the Pharisees, who carry out every minute detail of the Law without mercy, completely missing the point. They surpass the righteousness of the Pharisees by living by the Law the way it was intended, through reconciliation. The Beatitudes are proof of this, describing an eschatological picture of justice where the merciful are shown mercy, the meek inherit the earth, and the peacemakers are called sons of God. The Pharisees do not possess these attributes, but Jesus’ followers do (or are at least taught to). They are more just than the Pharisees, and “theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” (Mt. 5:10)

    By re-interpreting the Law and showing the people how to follow it by example, Jesus is fulfilling it. This fulfillment of the Law is embodied in the prayer Jesus prayed and taught us to pray found in Matthew 6:7-15. This prayer beckons a literal heaven on earth. It encourages us to forgive our brothers and avoid temptation. God’s name is the most exalted, and His will is what we ought to seek. This prayer is the culmination of Jesus’ “New Law” and describes a righteousness that far surpasses that of the Pharisees. Jesus fulfilled it by teaching it and living by it. It is now up to us to follow in his footsteps.