Forget the Horror Here

Some day I'll feel better, and everything will be alright. This is future dust.

I promise that when I feel 100% I will help as many people as I can. I love every person on this planet no matter how wicked, and even though I still feel so useless and embarrassed and ashamed and so fucking stupid, I promise that one day I will help people.

Today you are you,

That is truer than true.

There is no one alive

Who is youer than you.

Dr. Seuss

In-between

Sometimes I can imagine the smell of warm rain in the summer - what it feels like to listen to the patter on the leaves. I wish I could experience that again. I wish I could feel whole and alert and real. I want to be in tune with my senses. I'm tired of living in fear of what it means to be alive, to have a brain, to be composed of many little bits of matter. I wish I could listen to music again. I wish I could put on an album, shut my eyes and create a wild and vivid story to go along with it. I'm tired of going in circles. I want to be free.